The Gift of Presence

Recently, I’ve felt disillusioned with glorifying. In part, I’ve wondered about this question: How can I give Jesus something that already belongs to Him? Yet, even when I’m bowing in surrender to His glory, my efforts sometimes seem empty.

One day a number of years ago, I ran into a foreign friend on my campus. He’d been in China for a while, first studying the Chinese language and then pursuing a PhD at my university, but he’d decided to leave. His explanation to me that day went something like this: “You have a real reason to be here. I don’t.” His pretending to be a student in order to engage in Kingdom work had become unsustainable.

When I first came to China in the 1990s, many people in my home country had a similar attitude to my friend and would qualify my work by putting it between quotation marks. However, I wasn’t an “English teacher,” pretending to be something I was not in order to engage in Kingdom work. Instead, I have worked hard at becoming credentialed and qualified and have pursued excellence in my field as a means of surrendering to the King.

Still, my life and work in China have often been more like a game of Jenga than genuine glorifying. When playing Jenga, the more blocks we remove the shakier the structure becomes until it finally collapses. Followers of Jesus know not to build on any other foundation than Him. What’s harder to remember is that removing the heart of our structure can also lead to collapse. In other words, when making a show of glorifying, we may forget to love, befriend, and dignify the people we serve until we’re left with an empty shell that has nowhere else to go but down.

A while back, I was sharing some feelings of discouragement with a local friend. I’d been trying hard to live and work for the King, but what results could I see? Whether fulfilling professional or Kingdom responsibilities, was anyone really listening? Over the years, my efforts have often seemed like insignificant drops in an ocean of need. But that day, my local friend replied, “Just the fact that you are here is enough.”

Here. To greet the woman who sells roasted corn on the corner until one morning she smiles back. Here. To return to a shop with an apology for the clerk after an impatient outburst. Here. To plan and teach and grade with attention. Here. To speak a word of encouragement to a student and watch the weight of learning lift. Here. To sit at a friend’s table and graciously receive the overabundance of food that has been prepared. Whether giving or receiving, fully and genuinely here.

I cannot give Jesus glory that already belongs to Him. I can, however, bow in surrender to Him by forgetting all about glorifying. Then, instead of putting on a show, I go out into the world to offer my time and presence with genuine affection and love.

Photo by Alexa from Pixabay